A bride felt horrible that she banned her seven-year-old autistic nephew from her wedding. The pain of having to do that because of the boy’s outfit struck her so deeply that she decided to turn to Reddit to see if people thought she was right or wrong for doing what she did. After thousands of people read her story, engaging with it and commenting on it, it was determined that this bride was “not the a**hole” for banning the child with the disability from her wedding.

After the bride had to punish the little boy, she turned to Reddit and put her heart out there. She wrote:

“I realize this title makes me sound like a complete douche, but I’m at my wit’s end. Obligatory apologies for mobile. I am getting married in one week. My sister has a son who is seven and on the spectrum. We’ll call him Josh. We asked to have him be a ring bearer months ago, they both agreed, everything is happy.

“Fast forward to today, and my sister calls me. Apparently, Josh has taken to wearing a Spider-Man costume and will not take it off. It’s been weeks, and he throws an absolute fit when asked to wear anything else. It’s to the point where he’s even wearing it to school because the parents have completely given up. My sister calls me to give me a “heads up” that Josh will be wearing his costume to my wedding.

“I tell her absolutely not. I don’t care if he wears it during the reception, but I do not want Spider-Man walking down the aisle at my wedding and in all my photos. My sister gets indignant, tells me, “Then you don’t want Josh at your wedding” because she cannot get him to wear anything else without a tantrum ensuing. I said if she cannot get him into something at least semi-formal, she can make arrangements for him to have a babysitter during the ceremony.

“She huffed at me and told me I was being a complete Bridezilla and “banning an autistic child from my wedding.” I’m not “banning” him, I’m just insisting he wears normal clothes. She comes back, telling me I was essentially banning him because of his autism. My fiancé is backing me up, but my sister and her husband are now threatening not to come to the wedding at all. I have no idea what to do.”

On Reddit, thousands of people left comments, which added to the richness of the discussion.

“Well to be fair, I used to wear a red cape for months because my favorite vampire also wore one. I’m not autistic. I just really wanted to be a vampire.”

“I feel like a lot of this is dependent on where on the spectrum Josh lies. I have a friend who’s on the spectrum but would have no problem with a wedding and wearing whatever was appropriate for the dress code.”

“Autism takes many forms, and tons of kids with autism don’t have sensory issues and enjoy social occasions. I work with a kid who loves going to big family gatherings because they get to play with their neurotypical cousins (who are basically the only neurotypical kids that want to play with them). I have another kid who does have sensory issues but is perfectly fine as long as you give him some noise-blocking headphones. Anyway, my point is that saying, ‘he has autism, he probably wouldn’t enjoy it anyway,’ is a discriminatory cop-out.

But not everyone agreed:

“You are the one that has to deal with the fallout from this. This will change your relationship with your sister and her husband. If they don’t go to the wedding, word will get around that you ‘banned’ your autistic nephew.”

What is your take?

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