“As you all know, a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself,” the ghastly letter begins. “I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offer to assist with the meal preparation. Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders.”
Yes, this woman named Marney decided to slap instructions on her guests who were coming to her home for Thanksgiving. And she decided to do so in a detailed letter that went viral for all the wrong reasons when it was shared online. The letter continues:
“I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.
“All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.”
The awkward letter then continues by giving all family members invited to the Thanksgiving Day celebration very specific instructions on what they should and should not do when preparing for the big day. The instructions are awkwardly intrusive and demanding, including the one written to “The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family.”
“Lisa, as a married woman, you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’oeuvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter, mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).”
While Lisa gets away with some carrots and dig, other invitees are expected to carry much more responsibility.
The “Mike Byron family” has higher expectations.
“Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top. It gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips, so don’t feel like you have to feed an army.”
She also instructed the Mike Byron family to bring “two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA. I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands, please. I did see an ad this morning for Haagen Daz peppermint bark ice cream. Yum! No pressure here, though.”
But “The Amy Misto Family” is not expected to do much but bring pie. “Why do I even bother,” Marney wrote, “she will never read this.”
What do you think about this demanding holiday letter?
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